missing it ain't gonna bring it back

it is sometimes early in the mornings or whenever i drive through the back gate when i acutely miss being on leave out here. it's an odd thing to miss, but i can honestly say that june-july 2005 was the best time of my life. i felt like i rediscovered myself and, most importantly, i fell in love with him all over again. i miss not having responsibilities, i miss going and doing whatever we wanted because we were tourists. i even miss that lukewarm shower and tiny twin bed.
he seemed more aware of me then, more aware of me as a sexual object (and i mention that only because i practically have to add a reminder into his phone to schedule together time these days). i miss the way he used to dress. i miss 4am bedtimes and noon wakeups, killing time until jeff got off of work.
or maybe it's the sense of infinite possibilites that i miss.