oh fucking hell

i always think that i get into things with my eyes wide open, and there is always the voice that warns me of what i might be getting into.
and i ignore it. or assume that it won't happen this time. because this time i know what the hell is going on.
and so this time, i'm left feeling a little bit used, like you're with me and seeing her. like you're using me to get to her. and i hate that.
i give of myself freely for reasons of my own and i expect the same in return. but it never happens. maybe i ask too much.
fuck you. that's all i'm going to say. i'm not some other girl, but i fucking lowered myself down to that level. all these boys, they touch me just right and say the right things and GOD.